What makes for a good life?
I saw what sounds like the modern American Dream written up in the Wall Street Journal yesterday.
The story was about a man. Just your everyday TikTok superstar. He was once an executive at one of the most powerful companies in the world. Then his wife hit social media superstardom, and he left his job to seek his fortune through fame as well. And it worked. Together they became a social media powerhouse. Followers in the millions. They traveled the world sharing self-help wisdom, using their lives as the fodder for their business. They wrote bestsellers and spent most of their days taking pictures and videos glamorizing their personal lives as a model for the rest of us to follow.
That seems like the modern day success story we are all supposed to follow.
His is the kind of story that makes the rest of us, whose lives are characterized by simple houses, once-a-year vacations, and a lot of homework, believe we have somehow missed the secret to life.
But the last quarter of that article chronicles what we should all know to be true by now – that the modern-day social media-fueled, perfectly sculpted, happy-life vision of manhood is less of a vision than a mirage.
The modern-day vision of the good life modeled by our social media superstars is a fantasy created and crafted by people desperately chasing worth and meaning in all the wrong places, and those pursuing it will inevitably die of thirst and exhaustion long before the mirage ever becomes real.
Nonetheless, those fantasies still manage to shape the expectations and frame the disappointments many men live with their entire lives. We need better guides than men pushing their fictionalized lives as products for the rest of us to consume.
Immediately after reading the article linked above, which ends after a long road of creeping loneliness, hidden loss, divorce, and eventual death, I saw a video posted on X of a man who models the exact opposite of the American Dream masculine mirage.
He lives a life of sacrifice for those who love him. And those who love him keep him living. His story will not end in creeping loneliness. It will deepen and broaden as his family grows. His life will not be marked by growing influence in empty digital landscapes. It will be marked by the people he loves who love him in return.
How do we shift our focus away from the mirage of the good life marked by personal success, self-fulfillment, and dumb-money living?
How do we re-enchant the vision of a simple, joy-filled, love-soaked life? How do we teach men to embrace a life of self-sacrifice as a means to lasting joy?
For the last year, I have been wading into the swampy mess of American race relations. Like all good swamps, the water is murky, every step you take comes with danger of being attacked, and visibility is limited. But I’m still moving through it.
There is a new Bourne movie coming our way, and my wife and I cannot wait. Jason Bourne is one of my favorite action movie heroes for lots of reasons. He is humble. He never quits. He can do just about anything. And he is always the underdog, hopelessly outmatched, but able to find a way through. Aside from the character, the music always great, the acting is top notch, the cinematics are flawless, and the greater story arc pushes the individual movies. They are really great movies.
It seems that Trump has won the republican nomination. I know the game is not over yet. But after taking Florida as one of his 18 wins, he is no longer an unruly house guest overstaying his welcome, he now has more right to the space than anyone else in the room. He is flat-out winning, and no appeal to a divided voting block changes the simple fact of his clear and consistent march to victory. He keeps winning, which puts many people I know, love, and respect into the awkward position of voting for a man they detest in order to uphold the conservative principles of the party they love.
Just Thinking 