Category Archives: Worth Watching

Visions of Manhood

What makes for a good life?

I saw what sounds like the modern American Dream written up in the Wall Street Journal yesterday.

The story was about a man. Just your everyday TikTok superstar. He was once an executive at one of the most powerful companies in the world. Then his wife hit social media superstardom, and he left his job to seek his fortune through fame as well. And it worked. Together they became a social media powerhouse. Followers in the millions. They traveled the world sharing self-help wisdom, using their lives as the fodder for their business. They wrote bestsellers and spent most of their days taking pictures and videos glamorizing their personal lives as a model for the rest of us to follow.

That seems like the modern day success story we are all supposed to follow.

His is the kind of story that makes the rest of us, whose lives are characterized by simple houses, once-a-year vacations, and a lot of homework, believe we have somehow missed the secret to life.

But the last quarter of that article chronicles what we should all know to be true by now – that the modern-day social media-fueled, perfectly sculpted, happy-life vision of manhood is less of a vision than a mirage.

The modern-day vision of the good life modeled by our social media superstars is a fantasy created and crafted by people desperately chasing worth and meaning in all the wrong places, and those pursuing it will inevitably die of thirst and exhaustion long before the mirage ever becomes real.

Nonetheless, those fantasies still manage to shape the expectations and frame the disappointments many men live with their entire lives. We need better guides than men pushing their fictionalized lives as products for the rest of us to consume.

Immediately after reading the article linked above, which ends after a long road of creeping loneliness, hidden loss, divorce, and eventual death, I saw a video posted on X of a man who models the exact opposite of the American Dream masculine mirage.

This man, working a job that requires a lot of hours wearing a safety vest, models a different vision of manhood than our culture puts before you.

He lives a life of sacrifice for those who love him. And those who love him keep him living. His story will not end in creeping loneliness. It will deepen and broaden as his family grows. His life will not be marked by growing influence in empty digital landscapes. It will be marked by the people he loves who love him in return.

How do we shift our focus away from the mirage of the good life marked by personal success, self-fulfillment, and dumb-money living?

How do we re-enchant the vision of a simple, joy-filled, love-soaked life? How do we teach men to embrace a life of self-sacrifice as a means to lasting joy?

Conviction

I just finished a little facebook tussle, which is second on my list of ultimately futile activities, over status update I made about a hot button cultural issue, which is the straightest line leading to the second most futile activity known to man. In this little back and forth, it became very clear that I was wielding a sword in what the other person assumed was a pool noodle fight. In that scenario, neither person looks too bright.

But this kerfuffle brought a number of thoughts to mind as I reflected. The whole situation was interesting to me on a number of levels:

1. Should we speak? People love to speak, but rarely have something to say. Social media has given us the ability to speak, which has morphed into an obligation to speak. This cuts towards me just as much as it does to the other person involved. I deleted about eight different tweets about the topic I brought up, because it was far too big a topic for a tweet. So why did I keep writing them until I clicked Tweet? Because I felt compelled to speak, primarily because I was able to speak. For the person who responded to me, there was a compulsion to say something in response to my saying something, but a vague and indefinite fortune cookie maxim was all they had available at the moment. But if I was speaking to something much larger than I could reasonably address, and if the person responding had nothing of substance to say in response, perhaps we should both have just stopped typing.

2. Speak with conviction. The person’s initial response was vague, and the follow up responses were a mix of denying what they had vaguely said, backing out of the argument they started, and at one point saying they had no intention at all behind what they said. If there is no intention, why say anything? And the answer is simple – there was intention behind responding to my status update, but the intention lacked the fortification of conviction. Paraphrasing Stinger, The person’s rebuttals were writing checks his conviction couldn’t cash.

3. Taylor Mali knows what I’m talking about.

4. Humility should be attached to ambition, not knowledge. G.K.Chesterton, writing about a hundred years ago noted this new tendency for people to act as though pretending not to know something was humble. That is relativism, agnosticism, or laziness, but it is not humility. Humility is meant to limit our inner world, not write off the outer one.

5. Christians must speak with conviction. Have you ever had that moment when a group of friends are trying to decide where to go eat, and all of them, looking out for the happiness of the others, keep deferring to everyone else, who are all deferring to everyone else? All it takes is one person with the conviction of personal desire, and the Mexican standoff will end. Our culture is at one massive Mexican standoff, and we desperately need Christians to step in and bring the clarity, honesty, and peace that can only come through Christian conviction.

In summary: don’t speak unless you have both something to say and the conviction to bring others with you.

Worth Watching: Lizzie Velasquez – “The Ugliest Woman in the World”

This video had me on the verge of tears more than once. Grateful that God gives grace to us to handle whatever the world may throw our way.

Worth Watching 2013

Here are some videos I think are worth your time watching. Each are from 2013 and each of them is awesome in different ways. Take some time, look back and enjoy!

The Calvinist – Beautiful and inspiring for ANY Christian.

Get Off the Phone – Hilarious, and sadly astute.

Goats Screaming Like Humans – Sounds ridiculous, and it is.

Its Not About the Nail – Thanks to Denny Burk for reminding me of this one!

This is Art

It was last Thursday morning when I first saw the video below. Thursday morning, five minutes later I watched it for the second time – this time with my wife. Thursday night I watched it the third time, and by Friday I was considering making it the third poem I have ever memorized (I find poetry quotation to be inherently pretentious unless you are Ravi Zacharias or have an otherwise awesome accent). I encourage you to watch it, listen to it, and hear its message. The title may be off putting to some, but regardless of theological commitment, this poem is beautiful and inspiring.

The Death of Male Friendship

This post is for other men who have noticed the difference in the relationships of men from history and historical literature epitomized by Churchill and Roosevelt, Lewis and Tolkein, Samwise and Frodo, Jonathan and King David and those characterized in modern culture. This past weekend my wife and I were discussing the sad state of modern male relationships, and then today I saw this commercial posted on Facebook. Two days ago I lamented our culture’s loss of masculine friendships and wondered aloud how it would impact my son, but this commercial makes me lament the loss for myself.

Meaningful, loving relationships between men have been hijacked by a cultural obsession with sexualizing every relationship. After Brokeback Mountain, braving the wild with a friend has become the fodder for simple minded jokes. Seeing a picture like the one on Doug Wilson’s book, Future Men raises nothing but nostalgia in my heart. Future MenNot nostalgia for the days when I would wrestle with my friends careless of appearance, but nostalgia for the days when boys could wrestle with their friends careless of appearance. Sadly, I think those days have passed.

Nonetheless, little cultural nods like the one made by Tullamore Irish Whiskey give me hope that men have not completely forgotten the feeling of mutual respect, admiration, and encouragement embodied in masculine friendship.

Even though male relationships are portrayed as a comedy of Hangovererrors and group stupidity

 

 

 

stuck focused on pointless pursuits of personal gain Wedding Crashers

 

 

 

 

 

I think our culture still silently longs for men to pursue serious, sober minded, heartfelt relationships with other men. These missing relationships are one of a thousand issues contributing to the demise of men in our culture, but pursuing strong relationships with other strong men could probably right the listing ship of masculinity more quickly than almost any single cultural change.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. I challenge you, pursue God honoring, deep relationships with other God honoring men.

Things Worth Watching

Most of the things you watch on a television or computer will be of little worth to your life. These things are different.

Living Stone Community Church

All of Christ. For all of life.

Denny Burk

A commentary on theology, politics, and culture

The Gospel Coalition

Tid-bits and Trifles on Faith, Culture, and Church from Whitney Clayton

The Gospel Coalition

Tid-bits and Trifles on Faith, Culture, and Church from Whitney Clayton

The Gospel Coalition

Tid-bits and Trifles on Faith, Culture, and Church from Whitney Clayton

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started